The Secret To A Good Death

Most people think the only thing you need to do to prepare for end of life is make arrangements at the funeral home. 

It's much more complex than that. 

There is more to consider than whether or not you want to be embalmed, cremated, have a green burial, what casket you want and whether it's open or closed. 

 

 

 

You might be thinking...

My grandmother made her arrangements with the funeral home already, she feels like she's got things taken care of.

Isn't that enough?
Why isn't that enough for me? 

 

What's going to stop you from having a good death?

When you are actively dying it's too late to be able to speak up for yourself.

There are so many things to consider... actually, too many.  It can be overwhelming and this is where my End of Life Doula experience can be of benefit. 

You can have all of your wishes documented before the decisions affecting your care are completely out of your hands. 

 

 

Here's an example of a real situation:  A patient was days away from taking their last breath. Pain medications were being used without question while the patient was alert, aware, and communicative - able to make their own decisions.  When the patient entered the active dying phase the doctor suggested increasing the morphine to eliminate any discomfort - normal end of life comfort measures.  The daughter, who was now responsible for all decisions, was afraid that her parent would get addicted.  The daughter's fear of addiction happens because people lack the knowledge of the benefit of narcotic use at end of life.  We don't want people to suffer needlessly. Providing education can ensure comfort.  

 

 

When a plan is in place,
You can focus on living. 

 

 

 

You may have complicated family dynamics and you'll need someone advocating on your behalf - even when it gets difficult. 

 

You may may be facing this journey alone.

 

You may have different spiritual beliefs from your family or have specific desires for what happens after you die, and unfortunately sometimes families choose NOT to honour your wishes. 

 

 

Doulas are not new in the field of death and dying. They are becoming more prevalent. 

As the health care system is changing, there are new personalized ways to receive support after a palliative diagnosis and as one's disease progresses.  As a Doula I can be at your side during these times. 

 

You have different options now!  

The reality is: 

 

• You may not know what questions to ask?
  

• Maybe you feel like you’re the exception to the rule?  Your family would never do something you didn't want them to do. 

• Maybe you feel that talking about death is a taboo because you grew up in a culture where we don’t talk about these things.  

 

 

As a nurse, I’ve been present at many deaths and I've witnessed the chaos and heart break that can happen among a family.  

 

 

I also have my personal experience losing my son and had very little support.  

 

 

 

 

 

You don’t have to stay awake at night worried about what is going to happen or how to create a plan for yourself .

 

 

 

You will receive specialized support.

You have an advocate, someone who can answer your questions, someone to sit with when everyone else is busy, and someone who will just sit and listen. 

 

 

Imagine being able to share your deepest fears about dying with someone who will just listen to what you have to say.  Factual answers about the process will always be provided and the gift of being able to share without being interrupted or judged is the key to work with me as your Doula. 

 

 

Imagine the freedom you'll feel after facing your fears and creating a legacy of your life that inspires.  

 

Imagine experiencing the privilege of living your life to the fullest knowing the legacy you’re leaving behind. 

Imagine never worrying about dying again. 

 

 

 

 

Your life is a gift and your legacy is the gift to your family to remember you by.  

  

Offering these services in the role of an End of Life Doula is the culmination of my life’s work as a Registered Nurse, a caregiver, a bereaved Mom and as a daughter who stood with my daughters at the end of my Mom’s bed as we watched her die without any type of palliative care whatsoever. 

 

We were not even aware that my Mom was actively dying. It was only when the sheet was moved and I saw mottling on her legs. I've never again seen it like that in the 40 years I've been a nurse.

She died hooked up to a monitor. We were not allowed to hold her hand and this was pre-COVID era.   

I was not confident enough to intervene in those days. Had we listened to those nurses we would have gone home and she would have died alone. 

In honour of the memory of my son, Stephen, who died with his family stuck in a waiting room, and of my Mom who essentially died alone with her family at the foot of her bed not included or informed, I want to be part of your journey. A gift to yourself and a gift to your family... no one dies alone.

I offer you personal, individualized, and attentive care with clear communication.  The same degree of professionalism applies to the individual contracting my services, family members, and friends who wish to be guided through the final journey of a loved one.  

 

I am not just a Doula...

This is my Soul’s Work & I Bring 40 Years of Experience through a variety of offers:

 Learn More